Thursday, November 11, 2010

deep.

i admit, sometimes I do to much without thinking. So today, i take my own sweet time. Go to the gym, working out, buy groceries, buy my multi-vitamins, pay bills, looking at people and smile to them. Just chilling..~

I looked at this group of middle age women. Am i gonna be like them? urm.. no offense, i understand everyone will grow old and eventually die. but will be 'like' them; very loud, red lipstick, like flower-flower-pening baju. will be i be like that?

Well, i think the right question is, will i have a long happy life? Will i even turn 50? or 40? or am i gonna die in a young age? knowing that i have nobody, no child to pray for me, no husband to cry when i'm gone.. kills me. Is that what i really want?

What do i really want?

I know, i understand and i am aware that i am not a good muslim. So what i really want?

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