growth is a painful process.

I don't believe that i have the strength to say those words. my finger turns cold when i type it.. but after 1.5 years together, after a brutal mental playing games, after false kisses and hope, after all the fake sweet talk and laughter, i finally say it.. it's over.

He, indeed the best best best partner that i ever had. the best. i might not find another him in the future and i am always scared to be alone. but i don't deserve a second class attention. i don't deserve to wait when he tengah syok syok gayut dengan betina pukimak manatah. i deserve more. maybe not love, but i definitely deserve more than all this shits.

I know i can do more in life. I've tried my very best to let him know that i care, that i am here for him, always. But often, i feel misused. and people around me saw that i deserve more than this. well, no one say it was easy; growth is a painful process, indeed.

"Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future"