chaos into order.

It's been quite sometimes, since i didn't write anything about my father.

Well, my ayah is a seriously funny men. He don't look like he is, but seriously, he is.

Every school holiday, he will definitely bring us bercuti. Dari laut yang paling erk~ (morib) ke tempat tinggi dan sejuk (cameron). He won't let us lepaking at home doing nothing. Holiday is a must for our family. ala ala lepas tension gitew..

I still remember this one funny moment. Kami sekeluarga pergi Pangkor. Kami budak budak sangat excited gila nak mandi laut. My father dengan coolnya, pergi belikan kami cekedis, burger, air mineral and all. From far, we saw ayah bentang tikar, betulkan cap and lambai lambai kat kami. hehe. Then ayah terus baca surat khabar. So, kami teruskan lah mandi laut dengan gembiranya.

5minute later, we all look at my ayah, Oh yes, my ayah dah tidur berdengkur dengan surat khabar kat atas muka dia. sangat bertenang dan malas =) That is so my ayah.

And we always kacau him everytime he do that. We cakap "ayah pemalas", "ayah takut air", "ayah kaki tidur" and all. Saje provoke dia. hehe. And my ayah terus je tidur sampai kami kata, "okay, jom balik". hehe. But once in a blue moon, my ayah akan turun laut juga.

That time, kami semua excited gila. peluk kaki ayah and asked him, "nape ayah turun air ni?" Ayah jawab, "Ayah nak kencing, jauh jauh sket". euuuuuwwwwwwwww...... haha. That is so my ayah. Hanya akan turun air kalau nak kencing. From that moment, we understand his 'small business' that my ayah do kalau masuk air. haha.

Yesterday, my adik beradik semua pergi sungai congkak. We can't stop talking about how funny my ayah was and what will ayah do if ayah was around, here with us in Sungai Congkak. Do you really know how much i really miss my ayah? I really do miss him. My siblings really do miss him. I was mad to God for quite sometimes for taking him away.. I was.

But acceptance and gratitude are the main key.

I have to accept the fact that my father is not around anymore and only gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarify. It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing and mistakes into important events. It makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.

i miss you.